December 18-24, 2011
- ARIES: You’re driving a car and you crash into someone famous.
- TAURUS: You are trapped in jail. You don’t know how to get out. A random super-villain saves you from police officers.
- GEMINI: A professor helps you become a super-being.
- CANCER: You’re doing a walkathon. You see a rat. You scream for help. No one comes to you.
- LEO: You find a knight’s armor inside a museum. You want it badly. But then you realize you are a burglar. The police arrest you.
- VIRGO: You are in a jail cell. All you see is red glowing eyes from thirteen thousand rats. The end.
- LIBRA: You see two thousand zebras panicking in your city. There is zebra meat all over the ground. You find out a tiger is eating all the zebras.
- SCORPIO: Ah! You are inside a house filled with ghosts. All the ghosts want to hug you.
- SAGITTARIUS: You see a person in a weird car and it flipped over. No one can help him. You are put out of your misery.
- CAPRICORN: You are on a rollercoaster. You see a violent koala behind you. The koala wants to eat you at the end of the ride.
- AQUARIUS: You see a goldfish in a fish tank. You take it out and you realize it’s a PIRANHA!
- PISCES: You’re playing Call of Duty MW3. You find a glitch that deletes all your data. You will cry.
YOUR SAYING OF THE WEEK: “I am the world’s biggest pinball machine.”