January 8 - January 14, 2012
ARIES: The Monopoly guy tripped on a banana and then landed on a copy of Mission Impossible. He tried to watch it, but it was scratched.
TAURUS: Your cat is very intelligent. It writes a book and starts talking. It’s a hungry cat.
GEMINI: If you’re playing Skyrim, you’ll see the macho dragon mod. Your friend likes you. You laugh
CANCER: You build a drill machine in Minecraft. It goes into the lava. You headbang your keyboard.
LEO: The cat actually got your tongue.
VIRGO: Water bears create two atoms that make a weird matter inside a black hole that’s inside someone’s pet tiger.
LIBRA: Your Xbox controller turns into a Transformer robot and eats your cat. You save your cat and now you have a Transformer table. Is that dragon moving or is that a statue?
SCORPIO: Apple pie gum scientists invent an apple pie with actual apples.
SAGITTARIUS: A goat in Skyrim gets burned. Dinner.
CAPRICORN: Slimes from Minecraft appear in your house. It’s all very pixel-y.
AQUARIUS: Stop playing World of Warcraft for a whole a day. Write musicals on World of Warcraft slowly.
PISCES: Creepers pop up in your house. They blow up. Don’t wait for creepers.
YOUR SAYING OF THE WEEK: “TNT don’t go boom.”